ANNOYINGLY SMALL (#)

Well, I found something out last week when I went to give myself my third shot. Turns out the vial of methotrexate they give me is 2mL and each shot I give myself is .8mL. So basically I have to go to the pharmacy every two weeks because each vial is only 2.5 doses. I'll be calling the doctor about that one. Ain't nobody got time for that. It has to be available in a larger vial.

Anyways, I didn't realize this when I went to give myself my third injection. So I was able to get up to 0.5 (hey an extra 0.1 for free!) before I ran out. I was confused for a second but then I did a little math in my head and was like "oh." Annoying. It was like 8:15pm, the pharmacy closes at 9pm and who knows if they could even accommodate me. So I injected the partial dose and then took some leftover oral tablets I had to make up the difference. So this week was a mix of the two. I'm sure that's fine in a pinch, don't see why not.

That did remind me that the pills suck though! I was nauseous almost immediately after taking them. It's this low level nausea that just make you feel crummy for an extended period. Anyways, boo to that. I am very much looking forward to my full injection this week even though I seem to feel them more and more each time. Less adrenaline pumping because I'm not scared maybe? Anyways, even when I do feel them it's no biggie.

Am I getting better? That's the question. I'd like to think so. I can swear I do feel an improvement. The arthritis is still very much there, but I haven't had a flare since being sick, even if my joints haven't felt super fresh. I was able to play soccer with Brandon and go on a run the next day last week without anything major happening. It seems my knees "warm up" faster once I start walking around.

So who knows. I've convinced myself it's getting better before and every time I've been wrong. So I'm on a very wait and see approach at the moment. I'm going to Iceland in one month (soon - yikes!) and plan to do some decent hiking, so I really hope I can do that comfortably!

A WEEK LATER

Just a quick update on where things are. The second injection was a lot easier and I was a lot less nervous. Still a little hesitant at "the moment" but nothing major. I even felt this one a little and it didn't even hurt a bit. Just like a slight pinch or something. Honestly the needle is so short and thin it's no big deal. So that is no longer an issue. Officially over needling myself.

The issue right now is results. And I am still waiting on those! It's frustrating, I felt so much better when I started methotrexate and it got to a point about four weeks in when I almost felt back to normal. I then went skiing and did a run or two and my knees didn't feel very fresh. Not a huge flare, but not happy. And then I got deathly ill for two weeks. All the while my knees still didn't feel great.

Recently they flared up because I spent a few hours outside scrubbing my deck. Lots of bending and squatting and stuff. And that is the most fucked up they have been since starting treatment. So it's really not impact activities that flare them up, it is just use. Day to day bending and using of the joint. That deck scrub flare up was pretty bad for almost a week. It felt pretty much back to the point before I started treatment.

So here I am, a full ten weeks into treatment. And I would say my results have been "meh" at best. Now, I am at the point where I can function and walk around just fine. I can do day to day life and I'm mobile. So that's good. I really don't want to complain too much, a lot of people would kill for that. BUT, the goal is to basically put this crap into remission. And it should be possible. Assuming the diagnosis is correct. And I really hope I don't have to chase another rabbit.

Anyways, I've been trying to not do activities and let my knees recover. We just bumped up the dosage and that will take a couple weeks to really kick in. So I'm going to try to stay positive. However, right now, it's kind of a bummer. The weather is about to turn and I'd like to be able to go outside and do stuff to enjoy it.