DOUBTS

I don't know why I feel so wholly unprepared for the upcoming Portland Marathon. I am in better shape than last year, and I ran the whole thing last year, so what am I worried about? It just seems like since I took my weeklong vacation (and "only" ran 24 miles) I've doubted my ability to be ready. After what felt like a late start to training, coupled with the vacation, coupled with being worn down the last few weeks... I just don't feel super confident.

Like I said though, I am in better shape. My twenty mile runs all went better than last year. I've ran higher weekly mileage this year and done way more speedwork. I am better prepared! So why the self doubt? I just think a marathon is still a huge achievement, something that is not normal. A half marathon at this point is nothing, I run that distance and more all the time. A marathon though... I haven't run 26 miles since Vancouver. Plus, I have to run it fast.

Those last six miles are going to suck. They sucked in Portland last year and they sucked in Vancouver this spring. I am ready for the suck though and think I can power through to get a new PR. A sub 3:30 is the focus and the fact that I have to run sub 8:00/mile for 26 miles I think is what's freaking me out. I ran an 8:08 average in Vancouver though, so I'm close.

Anyways, I just keep having to tell myself I am ready. Hopefully the taper and the excitement of the race will get my mindset in the right place. I pretty sure it will. Maybe one day a marathon won't freak me out so much. Not today though.