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| After being relocated from the track (background) to a nearby neighborhood. |
What is the beer mile? Basically, you chug a beer, run a lap, chug a beer, run a lap, etc. until you have chugged four beers and ran four laps. Recently the world record was set at 4:57... super impressive! This was my first ever beer mile... I have heard about them and been aware, but the 2014 Cascadia Beer Mile would be the first time I ever attended or tried a beer mile.
I was hemming and hawing all day about whether or not I would do it. I really wanted to try it, but I also knew I might regret it. I resolved to at least spectate it, and after some thought, I realized if I was there just watching I'd be regretting not doing it. So I was in. After work I picked up a six pack of Budweiser (bleh, but the beer has to be at least 5.0% and Bud is right on). I was in!
So I show up at the secret location (they keep it on the down low to avoid cop trouble) at 8pm. It's a local high school track but there is city league football going on in the infield and it's not really an environment conducive to putting this event on. The organizer of the whole thing, missed his name, didn't miss a beat and set up a course around an adjoining street. Turns out one lap around that street was nearly a perfect quarter mile. Awesome.
The race went off around 8:17pm, which was pretty impressive given the entire relocation of the race. There must have been at least fifty racers and at least as many spectators. It was an event and we basically shut that street down on our own. The local residents must have been wondering what the hell was going on.
After a brief pep talk and explanation the race was on. The announcer said "Beer!" and instantly there was the sound of fifty beer cans being popped. It was strangely soothing. I opened my Budweiser and chugged about half before stopping to take a breath.
Pain. That six ounces of beer blew up in my stomach. Holy shit. There was no way I could do this. BELCH. Now I feel better. Smaller sips. Okay, maybe I can. Burp. One more gulp. There we go. Shake the can over my head to make it official, and I'm off!
The running wasn't hard. The first lap my stomach felt fine after about fifteen burps (I was literally burping the entire first half of my first lap). Finished the lap in pretty good time. Beer number two. Smaller gulps. Man beer is filling. Burp. Drink. Burp. Finally get it down. Next lap isn't so bad either. Stomach is feeling decent, not great, but decent.
That third beer was a challenge. I was starting to feel it. I don't want beer anymore. Just keep burping. Seems to be the key. Clear some room. Get the beer down. Whew. Do the lap. I'm feeling a bit iffy but I think I can do this. Threw up a little in my mouth. No big deal. Just swallow it. You're drinking Bud, it tastes better than that. Alright, TG, once more.
And the final beer and lap. The beer sucked but it wasn't too big of a problem. Just took a little more time. Small gulps and forcing myself to burp as much as possible. The fourth lap was a shuffle. Anything more might have resulted in puking. My stomach was not happy but I could maintain. Just glide into the finish. No walking, but I'm not breaking any land speed records here.
Across the line I go! Just over eleven minutes. I thought about doing less than ten, but that was before I realized just how long the beers would take. If I do it next year I'll have to get better at getting those beers down. Oh well, for now, successful beer mile complete. 11:04 and no major vomiting!
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| As an Oregonian, this felt wrong. |
Lap 1 Run Time: 1:58.7 (7:55/mile)
Lap 1 Total Time: 2:25.0
Lap 2 Beer Time: 0:41.7
Lap 2 Run Time: 2:05.2 (8:21/mile)
Lap 2 Total Time: 2:46.9
Lap 3 Beer Time: 0:35.7
Lap 3 Run Time: 2:07.9 (8:32/mile)
Lap 3 Total Time: 2:43.6
Lap 4 Beer Time: 0:53.1
Lap 4 Run Time: 2:15.4 (9:02/mile)
Lap 4 Total Time: 3:08.5
OVERALL TIME: 11:04 Beer Mile!
I think the key is to just relax your throat (#). Hahaha, great job getting it done! I have to admit, I really thought that you would DNF this one. Or at the very least, throw it all up afterward. Did you feel drunk after the run?
ReplyDeleteNot drunk, no. Buzzed and woozy. Felt better during the run than I thought I would but the drinking was harder. I'm not used to chugging!
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