A NUMBER TWO FIRST

The red dot is the scene of the crime.

Alright kids, gather 'round. It's story time. And what do kids like more than poop stories? Nothing, that's what. If ye be squeamish, ye might want to skip this blog post.

So, a couple of factors went into making this special day happen for me. One, an outstanding burrito cart outside my office building. Fuego be thy name and delicious be thy game. They have this habanero sauce that is so spicy and so delicious. Anyways, whenever I eat lunch from this cart I have them load that sauce all over the burrito. My lunch then becomes a disgusting ten minute gorge-fest in my office where I am sweating profusely and using multiple paper towels just to keep the sweat at bay. So delicious and so disgusting. My poor co-workers.

Second, our internet at the office went out. We were released for the day shortly after lunch to go work from home since there was no point in hanging around an office with no connectivity since everything we do tends to rely on the internet. So I went home and "worked" which involved me laying on the recliner with my work laptop and slowly falling asleep. I finally rose from the dead just in time for run group. I chugged a Coca-Cola on my way there, trying to perk myself up.

Now, I never drink regular Coke. I never have soda at my house, and if I did, it would be diet. However, I scored a can somehow and it had been sitting in there for a week or so. I was super groggy on my way to run group and thought it might be a good pick me up of energy as I was about to run seven miles. The shot of caffeine and sugar probably wasn't the best for my tummy, which was still a little iffy and growly from the burrito bomb earlier.

I arrive at run group with a stomach that is not so sure about itself. Now, I was under the impression if I had any troubles, it would be tummy troubles, you know, the upper half of me. Anyways, we start off on the run, I'm feeling decent despite my stomach, and we're going along around 8:30/mile. Around mile 2.5 or so my situation takes a turn for the worse. Is my stomach cramping? Is this going to turn into something urgent?

After the turnaround at 3.5 miles there is a slight downhill. The up and down jostling during this period was NOT good. Anyways, it went from "my stomach is kind of iffy, I might have to slow down" to "HOLY SHIT I HAVE TO SHIT" in about two seconds. I announce to my fellow runners I have a burrito disagreeing with me and I'm going to have to walk. They all assume my stomach is just cramping and go on their merry way.

My bowels just over 3.5 miles in.

At first I just try to walk to off. Stay strong Thomas. You've staved off shits before. Nope, nope, not happening. I can't believe this. I have to go shit in the woods. Luckily, I was in a part of the Fanno Creek Trail with decent size wooded area around me. As soon as I make the decision to poop the situation becomes desperate. I have to go like now. I am sprinting into the woods, trying to find a decent place to go. I see a log where I can sit and hang my tooshie over the side so I don't crap all over myself. Perfect.

I'll spare you the details, but it was intense and it wasn't solid. Luckily it all went on the ground and nowhere else. About fifteen seconds into the ordeal I realize anybody walking on the path has a direct view of me. Although I am in the woods, I am not hidden at all. There's really nothing I can do. I just pray nobody else comes down the trail. Luckily the trail remains vacant as I finish up and waddle deeper into the woods to find some nice, soft leaves.

Alright, let's wrap things up. I find some leaves, pray they aren't going to give me a rash, and clean up. I take the walk of shame past my creation back to the trail. Bears shit in the woods and so does Thomas. I get back to the trail, take a deep breath, and start running again. SO MUCH BETTER. The rest of the run went great and I no longer had tummy trouble. I couldn't believe what just happened though. Luckily, when I got back, nobody asked me if I was okay or what happened. So they are none the wiser. Shhhhh.

That's my poop story and a first for me! I'm so lucky I was near the woods and able to go. Many parts of the trail are open park with nowhere to hide. What if it had been the winter route where we just run through the neighborhoods? This was bad, but it could have been a lot worse!

2014 RUM RUN 10K RACE REPORT

Finishing up in record time. Year three of the Rum Run 10.2k is in the books.

Well, another successful race is in the books and I did a lot better than I expected. I wasn't quite sure I'd be able to hit under 45 minutes and I ended up almost cracking 44 minutes. Despite the long course, I really enjoyed this race for the third time. I ended up getting 2nd in my age group so in addition to a shiny new PR I also got a medal to commemorate the run.

Things didn't start out so well race day morning. Nothing in particular went wrong, I was just really, really nervous. It wasn't quite the normal nervous excitement, it was more of a nervous fear and dread. I knew I was going to have to run my ass off and it was going to suck, and even then I might not get what I was ultimately shooting for. I choked down a banana and yogurt but wanted to throw up the entire time.

And they're off! I'm the one with horrible posture.

I felt a little bit better once I got the start line and picked up my race packet. Libbie came to cheer me on (she didn't race this year), so it was nice to hang out with her to distract myself from the race starting. I arrived around 45 minutes before the start of the race and once I picked my packet up time seemed to go by pretty fast. Before I knew it I was in the chute ready to go. This is when the fear and dread started to return.

They actually started the race on time this year, so at 8:30am I was running my little (okay, big) ass off. I hate standing there when they are counting down the time, I was dreading the start so much, but once we were off that all went away. I was now on a mission... these 45 minutes would suck, but they would be temporary.

My goal was to hit about a 7:00 pace on the nose, knowing I had to get a 7:05 overall average to get my under 45 minute goal time. I tried to not look at my watch the first quarter mile or so, instead just running what felt right and following the people in front of me. When I finally looked down I was running a 6:30 average pace. Yikes! I dialed it back a little. It felt okay at the moment, but I knew that was not sustainable.

New course this year, still long at 6.35 miles.

Hit the first mile in 6:54 (last year was 6:56, so basically the same). It didn't feel too difficult, but it was certainly a challenge. I was having a problem trying to hit 7:00, it seemed like I was either going 7:30 or 6:45. Eventually I was able to settle in at the correct pace.

This year we had about a quarter mile or so through a barkdust trail in the woods at Cook Park (same "off road" section as the HoHo 5k). Wasn't expecting that, so it threw me for a little bit of a loop. Was averaging 6:55 on my mile going into that section and 7:20 when I came out. I suspected my GPS lost me a little bit and I didn't slow THAT much, but still, it was a tad concerning. Was I going to fall off big time after my fast start?

My watch didn't beep until a good 100 yards or so after the mile two marker, so it definitely did lose me a bit. Mile time was 7:01. Still on pace, but getting fairly winded because I picked it up quite a bit after the woods to try and get that mile time down. Next mile was through some paved Cook Park paths, then out into the adjacent neighborhood and uphill to Durham Road. This mile came in at 7:12.

Right before the final lap around the lake.

At this point my average page is getting close to 7:05. I've just ran uphill and I'm sucking air and wanting the whole thing to be over. It's only half done. In my head I am crafting my "I had to slow down and didn't PR" blog post. Luckily, the long, boring, straight run along Durham road actually helped me. It was a mile and a half of just straight road, nothing to think about. I was able to focus on my breathing and regain my senses. Mile four 7:02. Maybe I can do this.

Mile five included the final uphill stretch of the race. I was kind of sad Durham was over, but I knew once I climbed the hill it would be another straight stretch were I could regain my senses. When climbing that final incline I looked around me. Skinny guy in official looking singlet with shaved legs. Two young women who looked like college track athletes. An older gentleman in his 50s with long legs and a body that just screamed "runner." And me. I don't think of myself as a great or natural runner, so the fact I was hanging with these people five miles in was a boost of energy.

That second to last mile came in at 7:10. At this point I'm averaging like 7:02/mile, so pretty close to that 45 minute mark. I'm confident though. I know I have a downhill, and despite my lungs burning and screaming, my legs feel pretty good. I can attack that downhill and the race will be over in less than ten minutes. I'm almost there, a PR is in my sights.

2nd place male aged 25-29.

And attack I did. Felt awesome on that downhill portion and carried that momentum into the flatter final stretch. 6:47 final mile. Average pace of 6:33/mile around the lake. Pocket of people cheering for me at the beginning of the lake loop (Libbie, Megan, Steve, and Michelle). My mom and dad were near the finish line and I was able to high five them seconds before crossing. It was over! I got a new PR!

I was expecting a 44:30 or so, turns out my watch said 44:02. Official results pegged it at 44:01. So almost under 44 on the long course. If the course were actually a 10k, I would have ran a 43:20 or so. Awesome time! Average pace below seven minutes a mile too. On a 10k! Holy crap! Take a look at my progression over the years:

Rum Run	2012	2013	2014
Time	47:31	45:56	44:01
Pace	7:29/mi	7:14/mi	6:56/mi
Age Div	6/27	4/24	2/25

Solid! Honestly thought there was no way I'd be running this thing under seven minutes a mile. Turns out I was second in my age division so I waited around for the awards ceremony, which took FOREVER. Really pissed me off. They did not have their shit together. Looked like the results company, AA Sports, was the culprit for the delay. So after standing around twiddling our thumbs for over an hour they finally got to them. Worth the wait though!

Official Results: 44:01, 6:56/mile. 27/569 overall, 21/208 male, 2/25 M25-29.

2014 RUM RUN 10.2K RACE PREVIEW

I've been enjoying my "time off" from marathon training. Which, honestly, is not that much different than marathon training. The main difference is I won't be running above half marathon distance for my long run and feel a little less pressure to get speed work in. I'm still getting in 25+ miles though, so it's not like I'm slacking off! Marathon training will start again in about a month, so no rest for the weary!

Meanwhile, I'll be bombing two races trying to get new PRs. The Souls2Soles 5k on June 7th, and then the Rum Run this Sunday. This will be year three of the Rum Run (2012 here, 2013 here) and perhaps my last if they don't fix the course distance. It really fucking annoys me, I had another conversation with the race company on their Facebook page, and they basically said "yeah, it's long, we don't care, it works better logistically this way" yada yada yada. Well I'll love that after running my ass off to get 7:05 miles and having my average pace show up 7:14 on the official results.

Deep breath. Okay. There is a new course this year but the territory is certainly not new to me. A lot of the course actually remains unchanged, however they have removed the Durham neighborhood hills and popped us out on Durham Road almost near 99W instead. This is certainly less scenic, but it might be slightly faster. After hitting Durham there is a nice gradual downhill, followed by a quick uphill, followed by more gradual downhill. Might lend to a faster time.

Same downhill finish on Boones Ferry and then around the lake. Course is 6.35 miles long, so I'll be looking to run the best tangents I can. I was hoping the 6.35 number was because they had us running in the middle of the road, etc. No. If you go to their official Map My Run (where my course image is from) they traced the tangents very well. This is a solid 6.35 miles, no fluff to cut off.

First two miles are relatively flat. Might take the first one a tad easier just to ease into the race and then try to attack the second. The third mile is mostly uphill with a total gain of 90 feet, so not bad at all. Mile 3 to about 4.5 is a nice slow downhill, so I'll try to attack that. Then the final uphill in the race, when you turn the corner onto Boones Ferry. I've ran that before, it's not too bad, but 4.5 miles into a race pace 10k will put a new perspective on it.

So after that final 80 foot gain it's mostly downhill to the lake and then a flat finish around the lake. Like last year, I'm hoping to have something in the tank for a quick sprint around the lake. We'll see though, I'm going to be racing this one pretty hard, so if all I can do is maintain a 7:00/mile, then whatever. I have a feeling I might be cutting it close with my "A" goal though, so a sprint could be in the works.

On Monday at run group I did a 10k at near race pace. Averaged 7:21/mile. It was killer! Now, it was 75 and sunny out, so I have to take that into account. I did leave a little out there though, so that gives me hope I can PR this race.

GOALS:

"A" Goal: New 10k PR, which conveniently is under 45:00. If this course was an actual 10k, my main goal would be sub 44, but basically I'll have to run sub 44 to get a sub 45 because of the long course. I'll be thrilled with anything starting with a 44, which is 7:05/mile or less on this course.

"B" Goal: Get a new PR for this race. So 45:56 (last year's time) or less. Will be nice to know I'm still a little bit faster. Last year's course was also long at exactly 6.35 miles, so they will be comparable despite the somewhat different course.

"C" Goal: Run hard and try my best. Have fun. Maybe I blow up at mile 5 after that uphill. Who knows. There is no shame as long as I try my best.

NEW RACES!

I ended up deciding on my Fourth of July holiday race and also added a local 5k to try and set a new PR. I updated the race schedule post from a week ago, but I'll mention them briefly here:

Soles2Souls on June 7th - Small, local 5k... shooting for a new PR.
Stars and Stripes Half Marathon on July 5th - Chose this over Foot Traffic. Price and convenience won out. Will be shooting for a PR.

I'm excited to finally have those set in stone. That should be pretty much it until Portland. I have enough races and enough distances to keep me busy. When I start training for my fall marathon I'll have to work them into my training schedule, but that shouldn't be an issue.

Running last week:

Monday: 6.5 miles at 8:53/mile. Felt okay. My first run of consequence after the marathon.
Tuesday: Off! Started bowling league on Tuesdays, so definitely a permanent day off through the summer.
Wednesday: 7.0 miles in 90F heat at 8:35/mile. Felt good despite the heat. Felt like I might finally be back after the marathon.
Thursday: 3.1 miles at 10pm whilst highly buzzed/slightly drunk. Not recommended. Felt like I was really seasick and the whole thing was just terrible. Barf.
Friday: 6.2 miles at 9:05/mile. This started as a "recovery jog" but ended up going from a 9:44 first mile to a 8:33 final mile. Trying to save up for Saturday.
Saturday: Decided on ten miles. Funny how much I was dreading it considering it was "only" ten miles. I dragged my feet and while catching up on blogs, noticed Runs for Cookies (Katie) had ran 10 miles the day before in 1:33:12 (9:18/mile). So I made it my goal to beat that. Ended up finishing in 1:32:28 (9:13/mile). Whatever gets my ass out the door.

My future?

Oh! So, during my long run on Saturday a bird tried to land on my fucking head. I was about six miles into the run and minding my own business and all of a sudden a bird comes screaming toward me. I, naturally, expect to it avert me once it gets close, but nope, it fucking flaps right in and LANDS ON MY FUCKING HEAD. Anyways, about a second after landing it realizes it's not where it's supposed to be and kind of freaks out and flies away. I could feel it's claws on my head and it definitely bitch-slapped me with a wing on takeoff.

Proudly, I did not break stride, although profanity was uttered. Anywho, when I got home I showered and then headed straight to Great Clips. I knew my hair was getting a little shaggy, but I didn't quite think it looked like a bird nest. Guess that bird begs to differ.

BACK AT IT

After the Vancouver Marathon I didn't run again for a whole week, until the very next Sunday. I had planned to at least take four or five days off, not necessarily seven, but I decided I should give my body the chance to heal up properly. I was sore Monday and Tuesday but like Portland, felt much better on Wednesday following the race. I could tell there was still some healing going on though, so I decided not to push.

That first run back sucked! Like after Portland, I only did a 5k, and also like after my first marathon, it felt extremely hard and long (okay, #). My watch was fucking up again when I started the run so I stopped and completely rebooted it. I never turn it all the way off and back on again. Well, that snapped it right back to normal and working. Should have done that in Vancouver! I felt super winded and out of shape and did those three miles at 8:58/mile. A very long 28 minutes.

The day after I went to run group at PRC and did 6.5 miles at 8:53/mile. It felt a little easier but it was also a lot flatter. Certainly a little harder than that pace should feel for me. I was able to get them done however and felt good afterward. So slowly working my way back into things. I took Tuesday off, like usual, and will try to do seven tonight at run group, hopefully a little faster. Not sure what I'll do this weekend, if I'll do a "long run" or just do like a 10k and call it good. Probably should try for at least eight miles.

Gotta get my legs back quick, the Rum Run is only eleven days away!

UPCOMING RACE SCHEDULE, MAY 2014 EDITION

These posts are really for me because I use my brain as my scheduling assistant and am not the best at remembering things sometimes. I should really fire myself. That might be a PR mess though. Anyways, since I am now done with the cycle of races I laid out in my last schedule post, it is time for a new one!

I present to you, my post Vancouver Marathon race schedule:

May 25th, 2014 - Rum Run 10k
Year three of the Rum Run. Unfortunately, this course is actually around 10.2k. I even pinged the race company on Facebook and asked them if they were going to fix it... indeed, they unveiled a new course(!)... that was also identically long. WTF guys, seriously? Oh well, it's a fun event and I might still set a PR in the process, but wish they knew how to measure.

June 7th, 2014 - Soles2Souls 5k
Late addition to the race schedule. During my little "break" before I have to start training for Portland again I wanted to try and set new PRs in the 10k and 5k. This is a small, local, chip timed race that goes to a good cause. It's also on the Fanno Creek Trail, so I'm familiar with the course and it should be flat and fast. Only concern is organization but for $12 it's worth a shot!

June 21st, 2014 - Bald Peak Half Marathon
Not a course to set a PR on, so I'll be taking this run for fun. It was pretty cheap when I signed up, something like $45, and that includes a tech tee and pancake and bacon feast at the end of the race. Yum! In addition to a 1,164 foot climb over the first few miles about half of it is also ran on gravel. Will be kind of nice to run it semi-hard but without PR pressure.

July 5th, 2014 - Stars and Stripes Half Marathon
Finally decided to do the Stars and Stripes again over the Foot Traffic Flat. Foot Traffic lost out because of the larger price tag and notorious traffic fiasco. I just would really rather not wake up at 4am and battle traffic when I could sleep in until 7:30am and drive two miles the next day for half the cost. Technically I will be defending my title but I'm sure local fasties will notice the lack of speed last year and sign up hoping to win, so no repeat is in the cards.

July 13th, 2014 - Outdoor Sunday Evenings 5k Fun Run
I already signed up Brandon and his dad for this race again, so it should be fun times. This is the "only $5 but we are going to jam your race packet with a Jesus DVD" race put on by my local church. Preach away for $5 though! Great deal and a good community event that has a free BBQ dinner afterward. Super good deal. Likely won't be running this one fast as I'll be pacing Brandon to a new PR hopefully!

August 2nd, 2014 - Crawfish Crawl Half Marathon
Excited about this one! Just signed up a few days ago. This is in my hometown of Tualatin. There has been the Crawfish Crawl 5k to go along with the Crawfish Festival for years, but this year they are adding a 10k and half marathon to the mix. I decided to sign up for the half. I don't know the course yet, but it should be a fun race and another chance to hit one hard if Foot Traffic doesn't go great.

September 7th, 2014 - Pints to Pasta 10k
Excited to run this race again. Hopefully it won't be the day after a twenty mile training run like last year, but my marathon training schedule will take priority. I'd like to run this race someday super fresh... the downhill course really lends itself to a 10k PR. It should still be a solid opportunity to set a PR, considering my only other 10k will likely be the long course Rum Run.

September 28th, 2014 - Corvallis Fall Festival 5k
Where it all started. This will be my FOURTH year running this race. Holy cow! It will be the weekend before the Portland Marathon again, so it will be a little tough to juggle my desire to run hard with properly tapering and staying fresh for the marathon. I'm thinking about picking up a cheap, local 5k sometime during the summer (later edit: done, Soles2Souls), but if not, this will be the only 5k I'll race to date in 2014!